Day Nineteen

The year of living intentionally is doing exactly what I hoped it would do - pushing me beyond my comfort zone to manifest a new future. The one thing that I observe about people, me included, is that most of us stay in our comfort zone, even if our comfort zone is not really comfortable. The fear of the unknown can make cowards of us all (A slight modification of Shakespeare).

Those who do great things, though, push themselves intentionally out of their comfort zone. My 56 years have been spent mostly in the comfort zone. I have done good things, but I have not come close to what I am capable of becoming. Who I was created to be has not been manifested in its fullness.

This is what keeps pushing me forward. At this point I want to see how good I really can be. I want to see what life outside of the comfort zone is like.

A predictable pattern occurs when I step outside my comfort zone. Every few steps pushing forward are countered by a pull back toward the old comfort zone. It is like a yoyo, pushing forward and feeling the pull back. Old beliefs and patterns do not die easy.

There is one point in the New Testament (Romans) where Paul confesses that he does the things that he does not want to do and doesn’t do the things that he wants to do. I know how the guy feels.

What is positive, though, is that every few steps does put me a little further out of the comfort zone, even if I get pulled backwards some.

I had another major insight Sunday morning. I was in that sleepy zone where I was not quite awake and not quite asleep. During that time a thought popped out. It was something that had been lying around under the doubt and fear, waiting for the right moment to pop up.

Over the years I have tried to do too many things at one time. All of them are good, but the problem is that none of them get refined and finished. Then, they don’t get marketed. I know the psychological reasons behind this and have addressed them, but they don’t die easy. Whenever I start new things, I quickly can overwhelm myself. Whether it is me trying to do it all myself or trying to do too many projects at one time, the outcome is the same – almost finished projects, unmarketed material, no growth.

What occurred to me Sunday was that I can’t do everything. I knew it intellectually, but it really sunk in emotionally in that sleepy state of consciousness. It clicked. Maybe, just as importantly, I realized that I don’t want to do everything. I don’t want to be fabulous at everything. I want to be fabulous at what I am passionate about.

There are some things that must be left behind if the journey forward is to be abundant.

If I can’t do everything, then what do I want to do? The answer for me is simple – developing people. I am good at facilitating meetings, but I don’t really get excited about that. I am good at general leadership training, but it doesn’t push my button. What I do get excited about is helping people find the path to a new and more exciting life.

We have a long way to go, but the path is getting clearer.