Day Twenty One

A few days ago I faced another thing to change in my life – starting but not finishing – big burst of energy at the beginning but fizzling before things get moving. I have zigged and zagged so much in my 56 years it makes my head spin.

Tyler, my 23 year old son, is working with me for a while as he determines what he will do with his young life. He is excited about helping us get the father/son material in a finished form to sell. We talked about what he wants from our working relationship. He sounded the gong loud and clear – don’t zig and zag.

Patty sounded the same gong a few days ago. Maybe I ought to start listening.

I actually have been listening the past couple of days. I am understanding why, also. Zigging and zagging were my way of avoiding things. It was my way of avoiding my own fear of being great. It was my way of staying in a perpetual state of anxiety. The past couple of days I have found amazing calm in my life amid all of the chaos.

I am finishing the drill. I am completing the projects. When the year is over, I will be surprised at where I am. Or, maybe I wont. Maybe I really do know what would happen if I became very intentional.

The more that I live intentionally, the more I realize that we create our own reality. I see more and more how my thoughts are creating what I am experiencing. I see how my actions are a manifestation of what is inside me. Experiencing the change internally and watching the change externally is pretty cool.