May 23, 2010

I have not blogged for the past two days because Drew, Tyler and I were leading a BAM Adventures father/son retreat with Falling Creek Boys Camp in Tuxedo, North Carolina. We had our first weekend with Falling Creek last fall. Ten father and son pairs were a part of that great weekend. This weekend, though, was more challenging.

Twenty four father and son pairs gathered at Falling Creek this weekend for the BAM Adventures weekend. In addition, another sixty father and son pairs attended a regular father/son weekend at Falling Creek. It was a full camp of fathers and sons – over 150 people in all.

What an exciting weekend. The BAM Adventures guys did a great father/son adventure race on Saturday morning. In the afternoon they built sling shots and had a competition. In the evening the fathers presented their sons with a special gift symbolizing their journey to manhood and then we shared a very meaningful time around the campfire. As we do in all of our father/son weekends, there were plenty of intentional discussions between dads and sons. Watching fathers and sons talk openly is one of the most exciting parts of the weekend.

This morning was one of my favorite times at our BAM Adventures father/son events – the circle of affirmation. This is a time when the sons identify what they like about them selves, what they are good at, and what they enjoy doing. They then share this with all of the men in the group. It is a great time of affirmation and confidence building.

One of the highlights for me is doing it with Drew and Tyler. They are both such confident and dynamic men. They were like pied pipers with the sons.

After lunch we spent time debriefing the weekend with Yates Pharr, owner of Falling Creek, and Watson Mulkey, a tremendous member of the Falling Creek and now BAM Adventures team. We have a huge program coming us at the end of camp in August with another group.

The weekend reminded me of the power that is discovered when you put fathers and sons together in an intentional environment where they do things together and the have intentional pre-planned discussions. Add the incredible camp setting of Falling Creek and it doesn’t get any better than this.

In the forward to Thich Nhat Hanh’s book, Peace in Every Step, the Dalai Lama wrote these words, “Although attempting to bring about world peace through internal transformation of individuals is difficult, it is the only way.” I thought about those words this weekend as I watched the relationships between fathers and sons blossom. The only way to change the world is one person at a time. The best way to change growing young men is to help them build a strong relationship with their dad. That is what BAM Adventures is all about.